Thursday, 21 June 2007

A loose cosmological argument

This is part of a letter I wrote to a dear Libyan friend of mine (not Mani, though I'm sure he will read it). Its rambling and a bit sudden, maybe I will rewrite it into an essay later on, for now I hope this might be interesting

Before hand to clarify: I don't count myself as a member of any particular religion/faith/dean, I take what influence I can from them and try to work it out for myself for the time being, the kingdom of God being within us. But I call my self a believer, and hopefully the following can explain my position a little.

"A believer. Of sorts at least. I pray, find it a most sanctifying and humble experience, I feel empowered to act for the good and the true, and sometimes I can see a mysterious pulse, behind things, behind all. It’s been there all along but I can now articulate it. It’s the source, the primal existence, that which is necessary for there to be ANY being, existence, possibility, order, chaos, energy, time or space. The first cause, though I dislike this title. The first cause is simple the first creation of movement of energy in a natural law bound framework we call ‘reality’. But this is not the beginning.

Even if you accept contemporary big bang theory you can’t get away from this. What is cause and effect, change, quantum swirling? These are the schemas of natural law, the order of the universe, the simple way things are. 2+2=4 and so on. And the big bang theory says that the universe started in a ball of energy that simple exploded creation. Before this ball (they call it a singularity, a point of infinity material density, like the heart of a black hole), there was no space or time, no coordinates. It doesn’t make sense to ask ‘where’ the ball was. All reality flowed from it in a few moments of ‘expansion’ (space overcoming void/nothingness).

And apparently physical constants, things like the speed of light and the rate of expansion and so on, are the way they are now because of ‘how’ the big bang occurred: If there had been more or less energy, if it had ‘banged’ faster or slower (in the time which ‘it’ created, if this makes sense), the physical law of the universe would be different, and a radically different universe would form. SO, obviously, there is some sort of overarching law, that metaphysical law which governs the generation of natural of physical law itself. This is selfdom articulated.

What about this law? This super reality of order and sense (in that it seems theoretically to be understandable, at least conceivable), where ‘is’ it in the void, how could it govern change in the nothing-notime-nonbeing of the original state presupposed by big bang theory (as I understand it, don’t take all of this as encyclopaedic Wali). Was it itself generated? Is there
ultra-overarching law or reality governing this?

You get caught into an infinite regress with this. There simple has to be a timeless, ageless, limitless, unknowably active reality before, after and at the heart of all things. Surly this is God, wither referred to by name of feeling. And I talk to this reality, and because of what I think it is, I bear it the respect, honesty, awe and transcendence it deserves when I talk to it. Truly, it already knows what I am to say, and what I am, and knows me better than I know myself, better than any part of my mind of soul can know anything. Prayer is a confession, losing yourself in light of the ultimate standard, which is the living heart of judgement."

Let us pray for all of us.

Wednesday, 13 June 2007

It feels apropriate to open with a quote

I suck at introductions, so I figure I'll just start flinging out things and hope some kind of structure emerges (those familiar with my great friend Mani will hopefully be used to this)

What to say? But what we say is seldom quite what we mean. Good as thought as any to start on.

Alas, what are you then, my written and painted thoughts! It’s not so long ago that you were still so colourful, young, and malicious, full of stings and secret seasonings, so that you made me sneeze and laugh—and now? You have already stripped off your novelty and some of you, I fear, are ready to become truths: you already look so immortal, so heartbreakingly honest, so boring! And was it ever different? What things we write and paint, we mandarins with a Chinese paintbrush, we immortalizers of things which let themselves be written—what are the only things we are capable of painting? Alas, always only what is just about to fade and is beginning to lose its fragrance! Alas, always only storms which are worn out and withdrawing and old yellow feelings! Alas, always only birds which have exhausted themselves flying and lost their way and now let themselves be caught by hand—with our hand! We immortalize what can no longer live and fly, only tired and crumbling things!

And it is only your afternoon, my written and painted thoughts, for which I alone have colours, many colours perhaps, many colourful caresses and fifty yellows and browns and greens and reds—but no one will sense from me how you looked in your dawn, you sudden sparks and miracles of my loneliness, you, my old loved ones—my wicked thoughts!

Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil sec 296